Parenting the Spiritual

Parenting is difficult. Anyone who says “it’s easy” is a poor parent. Life with a child or children is vastly different from single or married life. The child demands a lot of attention especially in the early years. One must see to the child’s needs, security, education, recreation and overall growth. When we talk about a person, we must take into account the multiple dimensions that are involved viz. physical, mental, affective, social, cultural and spiritual. Some might wince at the last dimension on the list but it is a fact; the spiritual too, is an important though often neglected dimension.

All of us have a spiritual side, whether we acknowledge it or not. This spiritual side too, deserves attention as does the physical, mental and other dimensions. Parents may and often do, get so caught up in ensuring that the needs of the child in other dimensions are fulfilled, that they forget about the spiritual needs. Even though it may not be immediately evident, this deficiency surfaces at some point and affects the child or adult. Parents inculcate certain select values within their children and children by themselves adopt values that appeal to them. The spiritual may not seem important but it is. Spirituality need not be equated with belief in a God or gods. Spirituality rather can be defined as a way of life. The values which characterize a person stem from his/her spirituality. These values lead a person to transcend himself/herself. They point to something greater than the individual. Some call that something God; others may call it a Supernatural or Cosmic Force, or something else.

Our world harbours ambivalent feelings toward spirituality. The undermining materialistic culture has trivialized the spiritual and nearly eliminated it. It has shown that Man (used in the inclusive sense) is all-powerful and that he can define his life without reference to anything spiritual. This view is lacking in certain aspects. Experientially, we know that we are not merely physical beings. We experience spiritual realities. For example, love is a spiritual reality but it finds its expression in the physical. Physically expressing love would involve hugging, kissing, holding hands etc. But love is not expressed merely in these ways. Love involves having the good of the other at heart, caring and looking after the beloved, giving corrections when necessary, making sacrifices and so on. Romantic love is usually though not only, expressed in physical ways while parental love is expressed in more spiritual than physical ways. Thus, we see that the spiritual is an important part of our lives as human beings. If love were only a physical reality would it still be called love? It would likely degrade into mere lust.

Parents need to be careful not to neglect the spiritual dimension of their child’s growth. If the spiritual foundation on which the growth of the child is based is not strong, then how will the child grow holistically and optimally? If the values taught to a child have mere material ends, then isn’t it likely that we will have superficial people, living superficial lives based on self-interest? Parenting is no doubt a challenge. It demands a lot and yet, it is fulfilling. It seeks the best for the child and the best must be sought in all dimensions of the child’s life, even the spiritual.